A person will have many types of friends over the course of their lives.
They fit into categories or stages that change, as you change and grow. Friends fill the need that we all have…to not be alone. To have someone to share good news and bad.
The friend we played with in the sandbox though, doesn’t have to be the same friend you run track with in Highschool.
The changes we go through, our experiences, and the dynamics of each of our family’s are not going to be the same.
Therefore our personalities, our likes and dislikes, our goals and values, won’t be carbon copies of each other. Your friendship needs will evolve.
You’ll have your siblings or cousins, who are usually the first friends you’ll have. This is where you learn the fine art of sharing, communication, and compromise. You’ll learn that it isn’t acceptable to hit your ‘friend’ over the head with your Barbie car, or biting the hand reaching for your favourite Tonka Dump truck, when they reach over to play with it. It doesn’t matter if you were already playing with something entirely different. Your toys are no longer just YOUR toys. You are told you have to share them. Because That is the polite and proper thing to do.
Then there are the school buddies. They kids you play with at recess, eat lunch with or walk back and forth to school with. Casual friends.
The friends that you hang with at school but not after.
Some of these people are your ‘smoking Pit’ buddies. The only thing you have in common is that you are all corralled into a small space on school property , that is barely big enough for all of you. You have to be friendly with a person when you’re crammed in like sardines….when some part of you is touching some part of them.
There’s the friend you have a class or two with. You sit beside them for every class, sharing pens, paper, or maybe homework. You joke about the teachers ‘comb-over’ and how it’s clearly not working.
The really lucky ones will have One Special friend, who you’ve known for years, or even decades, and that has walked alongside you from the very beginning of the friendship. The friend you can tell all your secrets to, and know they are safe. That friend, who, with all of life’s up and downs, will stand beside you, no questions asked. Even if you’re standing in the middle of a manure pile. That same friend who, even if they can’t tolerate the person you’re seeing, or dating, or marrying, will still stand beside you as your Maid-of-Honour, or Best Man and will be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart if it doesn’t work out.
There are boundaries.
The romantic relationship that a friend may have, is none of your damn business. It shouldn’t have anything to do with the friendship between the two of you.
People have the right to chose. And to chose what they believe is right for them, even if its not what you had hoped for them. As a friend you can voice your opinion but you have no right to interfere.
As a friend, no matter what happens, you should just be there.
That is my definition of a True friend.